A Proper Gift
by Experimental Madness
Summary: This holiday story is a bit of a surprise, I can't tell you who's in it. Could be Marian, could be Robin and/or Guy...you'll just have to click it to see what's inside! *Apologies for the rhyme*


**A little special something for the holidays. I won't say a word about what you can expect, but I hope you all enjoy it! :) **

**Robin Hood is (c) BBC**

**Oh yes, that ultra fluffy oh so warm and fuzzy feeling you get from this is the holiday spirit. I don't apologize at all!**

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A Proper Gift

Guy walked like a shadow through the brightly lit corridors of Nottingham Castle. The torch light flickered at the gentle stirring of air from an open window. Outside, the sky was a dull gray and all seemed lifeless and cold beyond the shelter of the sturdy castle walls. Guy's eyes beheld a storm of emotion whirling in the ever clouded pool of his soul. He was a man lost in his own thought. He seemed contemplative rather than tormented, but that was only from years of learning precise control over his heart. He could make anyone believe he was content when truly, he was in turmoil; he could be half crazed with anger, but reveal no more than a fleeting annoyance before he ran his enemy through.

The metal clink of his boots echoed along the empty corridor, announcing his presence to no one. He turned to walk down another hall, stopping at the second door. He paused here, arm half raised as if to knock. He questioned whether or not he would be welcomed or if he would be sent away, and he could not bear the latter. He knocked upon the door twice; light taps, as if the wood burnt his hands.

A sigh from within was the only sign that the room's occupant was still living, "Come in..."

Guy fumbled with the handle in his haste to get the door open. The room itself was a listless place, dark and decaying with the curtains shut, blocking out the cloudy sunlight which would have streamed in and given the room a bright life. The bed was unmade, the sheets and quilts pulled in either direction to lay half crumpled on the floor. A vase of flowers stood atop a chest of drawers, but the petals were beginning to wilt and some had already fallen.

A chair stood in the corner, rocking back and forth every so lightly. The woman sitting seemed intent upon her needlework. She did not glance up at the man standing in the doorway.

"Marian..." Guy whispered, his voice never failed to sound especially gentle when he spoke her name.

"Yes?" The woman looked up from her work, eyes that were once bright with all the vigor and joy of life were now darkened in a perpetual state of living death. "Have you brought something for me?" she asked with keen disinterest.

Guy shook his head, approaching her slowly as one would a frightened fawn in the woods. He knelt down beside her, taking the needlework from her hands; hands which had become so frail. Had she stopped eating again? An argument for another time, Guy reflected sadly. He took her soft hands in his, his fingers rubbing gently over her chilled skin, trying to warm her. "I have something to show you," he said, "outside."

Marian sighed, looking away from him. "I am tired. Can you show me tomorrow?"

"I could, possibly, but then your Christmas present would be late."

"Today is Christmas Day?" Marian asked, her voice coming alive.

Guy nodded, "It is."

Marian roused herself a little, furious that she had become so apathetic as to not know the change in the days. For an instant the old spark returned to her eyes and Guy recalled the woman who had first captured his heart, but the image was fleeting, and Marian did not have the energy to maintain her former fervor for long. She slumped over in her chair, silently berating herself.

"Come outside with me, Marian," Guy asked again, his voice taking on a more pleading edge then he would have liked. "I have not seen you in days."

Marian looked at the man before her, giving him one of those rare glances which regarded him as a feeling human capable of being injured at the slightest of words and not as the enemy she thought so vile and demonic. "All right," she relented, "but only for a moment or two."

A moment or two may as well have been the world for all Guy cared. He held out his hand for her and she clutched it in hers gingerly. Guy led her away from the dark chamber she had made for herself. The torches in the hall revealed the pale and slightly disheveled woman. Guy was overwhelmed with the urge to wrap the woman in his arms, to comfort her and guard her from her despair, but his touch only brought her pain; he had only ever brought her pain...

---

It had been Marian's idea to kill the Sheriff. She had played him well, using every ounce of her feminine charm to confuse him and turn him. Guy had always been susceptible to her pleadings and her schemes, partially because he knew he secretly agreed with her view of the world.

"This is your chance," she whispered, "your last chance to be a good man." He tried to comprehend how turning against the man who had taught him everything and raised him up from nothing would constitute being a good man. He was a loyal man, did she not see? Loyal and true to a cause he had been raised to fight. Did it matter that his goals were not to be found through the most moral of means? But what was morality to his loyalty?

She had promised him the world, power and riches if he killed King Richard's most dangerous enemy. She said she would speak for him, the King would pardon him his past crimes and he would be given the same titles he would have if he had aided a traitor's cause. Then she had offered him something more, showing her desperation, she had offered him her hand in marriage. Willingly. She would marry him willingly and be the wife he had so coveted.

He could not see a way in which he would not win. Marian did not have as much power over him as she thought. Guy only wanted his lands back and the Sheriff had promised him that and so far he had delivered on his promises; so Guy had been his loyal knight. If Guy did kill the Sheriff and King Richard pardoned him, he would still be given back his birthright...and Marian. At last it would put an end to this abominable game of betrayal and lies. He did not know how much longer he would be able to endure it, but he knew he would never be able to change his heart.

As he walked away from Marian's cell his conscience rioted within him. He loved Marian. He loved her far more than his own life and he knew that if he did not do this and prove his loyalty and love for her he would loose her for good. He might as well run a sword through her, for she would be as good as dead to him if he failed her now. Could he bear that? No. The thought of a life without Marian was hardly a life at all, but a mere shadow of a hellish nightmare. He shuddered as he walked up the steps, his hand inching towards the hilt of his sword. Marian could free him from the pit of damnation he knew he was heading towards; she could teach him how to be the decent man she seemed to think he was. What was wrong with being a good man?

Guy had never placed a value over right or wrong as long as he got what he wanted in the end. When his parents died so died everything he had once been. He did what he had to survive and wreck revenge over those who had outcasted him. He was content to go through the motions of a half life until he had met Marian. It had not been her fault that he had fallen in love with her, it had not been her fault that he had once again remembered how to be a human being again under her friendship. Perhaps there was something to this idea of goodness in a man; perhaps if Marian learned to love him he would come to embody all those qualities that she so admired.

He approached the Sheriff with wolfish stealth. His eyes growing dark as the thought of murder for goodnesses sake plagued him.

"Good chat with Marian, then?" The Sheriff said. It was not possible that he had somehow overheard? "Anything you want to tell me?"

"She wants me to kill you," he whispered.

"And are you going to?"

Guy's hand trembled as he pulled the sword from his sheath, "She thinks I could be a good man."

"Lepers, Gisborne, what have I told you?" The Sheriff turned about, revealing the dagger he held in his hands. "She will promise you everything because she is _using_ you. You do not believe she honestly loves you? Corrupt and worthless man that you are. You would be nothing without me."

Something snapped in the back of Guy's mind. "If it is true that woman are in fact lepers, my lord, then I hope the infection spreads," he struck out, catching the Sheriff by surprise as he knocked the dagger from his hands. "I am not worthless in her eyes. She _will_ make me a better man...and even if she does not....I will have her."

When he looked down at the Sheriff he realized his sword had gone straight through him. He pulled the blade out with numb hands. The Sheriff fell to the ground, cursing him with his last breath. Guy stood over the body of his former mentor and master. Treachery was not in his nature and his body revolted against it. The sword clattered to the floor as he wretched; supporting himself against the wall.

When the sickness passed and his mind was cleared again he realized the freedom he had just given himself. Yes, he had been loyal to Sheriff Vaysey, but had the man ever been loyal to him? No, he had been worthless...merely a weapon sharpened to his advantage. Now, there was Marian to attend to, and she did not find him worthless. She had called him a decent and good man and he had just proved it. She would love him for this. His heart swelled with the idea of her joy upon seeing him again as he freed her from her chains and told her the Sheriff was dead. Oh, she was his! At last, she was finally his to love and cherish. He felt his heart would burst with the overwhelming amount of love he felt towards her.

He went to her, running down the stairs to her chamber, throwing the door open wide. His lips curved in a rare and open smile of joy, his eyes shining with love for her. Marian's eyes widened at the sight, "You've done it," she whispered, "My God...my god you've actually done it!"

Quickly, he unlocked the chains still shackled about her wrists. The moment he did she threw her arms about him. Guy embraced her with similar enthusiasm. This was heaven, he decided. Marian never allowed him to hold her, and now just as he had needed her reassurance of her affections she had pulled him into a warm embrace. Did she love him then? Had she merely been unsure of her affections because of his loyalty to the Sheriff? He knew she cared for him, she would not have befriended him if otherwise.

"We will go the King," he said, "and we will explain what has happened and I will tell him of the plot Vaysey had planned."

"Yes! We should leave at once, if we are to get to him in time," Marian agreed whole heartedly.

"And then...then we can ask if he will bear witness," Guy said tenderly, smoothing back a few unruly locks of Marian's hair.

"Witness?" she asked, a look of confusion crossing her face, "to what?"

"To what," Guy chuckled, thinking she was merely teasing him. "Our wedding."

He saw her face fall and the color drain from her cheeks. She had forgotten the promise she had made him in her joy upon realizing the King would be saved. She had forgotten the bargain she had struck in order to spare her country.

Guy was no fool. He saw how quick Marian was to cover her emotions in place of a soft, false smile. It was not just disappointment in her eyes, he realized with sickening pain, it was despair. He had refused to believe she had been using him for her own designs. Even then, with the evidence before him, he could not let her go. He should have known then the misery he would be subjecting himself to, but it was not his fault, he rationalized, he loved her....

---

The wintry air was frigid, even in the main hall which led to the courtyard. Marian shivered, her arms folding over her chest to keep out the cold. Guy removed his cloak at once and placed it about Marian, drawing it tightly about her. She clutched it gratefully, giving him a small nod of thanks.

"Guy, where are you taking me anyway?" Marian asked.

"Just outside," Guy said.

"Is this a surprise?"

"You might say that," Guy sighed.

"You know how I dislike surprises," Marian said.

"Just wait and see," Guy said as he pushed open the door, leading Marian out into the courtyard.

Flakes of snow swirled around them in the light breeze. The ground was powdered white, with no footprints in the freshly falling snow. Marian smiled in spite of herself as she raised a hand to catch a few snowflakes on the tips of her fingers.

"It's the first snow of the season," Guy pointed out. "I know how much you like watching the snow fall."

"It's beautiful," Marian whispered, feeling cleansed as the pure white fell down upon her.

"Remember the winter after I first came to Nottingham?" Guy asked her.

"Of course I do. I came to visit you in Locksley then," Marian reflected, a hint of nostalgia in her voice.

"You came riding into the village in the middle of a snow storm and tried to pass it off as if you went for rides like that everyday," Guy smirked.

"As I recall you kept me in Locksley over night, and refused to let me leave before the storm passed," Marian stated, turning to face him, tugging the black cloak ever tighter about her shoulders.

Guy smiled sadly, how he wanted to bundle the woman in his arms. "I just wanted to protect you...keep you safe," he whispered almost apologetically. He wanted to tell her that those few days they had spent together in Locksley, learning about one another and speaking as friends were the most precious in his memory. He wanted to tell her that that was when he knew he would love her for the rest of his life, but those words would only pour salt into an already bleeding wound.

"And you did," Marian said placing a hand against his chest. She raised herself up on the tips of her feet and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for the gift, Guy."

"There is one more thing," Guy said, trying to maintain a decent grip on his emotions.

Sorrow welled up within him as Marian stared at him curiously. He saw her eyes shift to slight worry, a rare sight for her to look so concerned for his well being. Oh, she wasn't going to make this any easier, he would not be surprised if his heart broke before he could even speak the words....

---

Robin Hood had wanted to kill him. The moment he set foot in the King's camp the outlaw had had to be restrained. Marian explained that Guy had killed the Sheriff. None of the outlaws believed her at first, but it soon become undeniable fact when Guy was led into an audience with the King and explained the circumstances leading up to the Sheriff's death and the plot against the King's own life.

The King had listened, and when Guy had finished speaking his piece the King saw fit to pass judgement upon him. He pardoned him his past crimes and restored his lands to him. It was all so perfect; having achieved his life goals and to see Robin Hood fly into a fiery rage.

"He is still a traitor and murderer!" He spat, pointing accusingly at Guy. "Who is to say that he will not prove a turn coat once again if the opportunity should arise?"

"All I wanted was to reclaim what was rightfully mine!" Guy shouted back, "Since my lands were given to me by the King I will not turn traitor towards those I owe my life towards. Yes, Hood, even I have a scrap of dignity in me."

As if Robin's anger did not prove furious enough the King saw fit to test Guy's newfound conviction by placing him as the new Sheriff of Nottingham, as was also his right as the former Master at Arms. Probation, though, if the shire did not improve in a year's time his position would be taken from him. Robin would act as a fitting judge to the people's health and happiness and message the King if there were any suspicious acts. Guy had agreed to this, and his willingness troubled Robin even further.

All through this Marian had stood by him and defended him. Guy felt his love growing stronger by the minute, if it were at all possible. That was until he overheard Robin and Marian fighting with one another outside of their tent.

"How can you stand with him, Marian? After everything he has done to you?" Robin shouted.

Marian hushed him soothingly, "He has done something we have only ever struggled to see realized. He has brought down the Sheriff. The rest of the Black Knights will surely follow leaving Prince John's plans in ruins. Robin, he proved himself a hero."

A hero, that's what she saw him as; Guy smiled to himself, more than pleased to be so high in Marian's esteem.

"So fine. He has proven his qualities, what of it? That does not mean you must stand with him and be his defender."

"I must, Robin," Marian's voice trembled, "he is my betrothed."

"No," Robin scoffed, "I do not believe it."

"Robin, I told Guy if he killed the Sheriff I would willingly give him my hand in marriage--"

"And now he has done the deed, come with me back to England and I will make sure he will never lay his hands upon you." Robin said. "I will protect you, Marian, you know that."

"Robin, you do not understand. I intend to honor my word." It sounded as if she was agreeing to be executed not marry the man she cared for. Guy's heart beat out hollowly in his chest as he forced himself to continue listening.

Robin let out a strangled cry, "You can not! Marian..."

"Shh..." she was crying now, Guy could hear the rough sound of tears in her voice, "I'm so sorry, my love. I'm sorry..."

Guy could not listen to this anymore, he had heard enough. Marian did not love him! She loved Robin! He turned away running back to his own tent before he could be discovered. His mind was reeling and his heart screamed at him. She had been using him as her pawn after all. She did not care for him, all of her love was for Robin, his enemy; the true hero, everything that he was not, that he could never truly be.

He lay in this state for some time until he heard Marian part the tent flap and peer inside. She called for him, telling him she had summoned a priest among the soldiers and they could be married when they wished to be. Guy should have let her go then. He should have relented and let her fly back to her Robin, but his heart was far too broken for him to be so selfless. He promised her he would be a good husband to her; babbling out words of love and adoration he had kept pent up for so long. Marian stood overwhelmed at the flood, as if she was watching blood spill from an open wound. He promised her he would not touch her, that he would never force himself upon her. That if only she stayed with him he would be content enough—she could not leave him, he could not bear it.

The marriage ceremony was a simple affair. Marian barely muttered her vows and every half hearted promise to obey and honor and love him was just another stab into his soul. He took her back to their tent and let her sleep unmolested. He left her there and he went to the outskirts of the camp, where he spent his wedding night crying and screaming into the desolation of the lonely desert.

On the trip home to England it became obvious he he married a shell of the woman he had loved. Marian had wandered the deck of the ship like a ghost, avoiding Guy whenever possible. It seemed even the spark of friendship they had shared had died after their wedding.

She wept often and once he had tried to comfort her. She had pushed him away and he never again tried to touch her with unwarranted tenderness, even though it was agony to watch her suffer so and be able to do nothing.

When at last they arrived back in England, Marian had seemed to come alive again. The people of Nottingham were more than reluctant to accept Guy as their new Sheriff, and he had been unsure of how to address the people. Marian had stood by him then and took his hand in hers. Confidence rushed through him, but the moment they were alone she was gone from him again.

He tried to engage her. He went riding with her through the forest, or walking with her through the villages and the town as she introduced him to the people properly and taught him how to give back to them and be a just leader. He watched as the people's perception of him gradually grew from fear to respect; they marveled at the change in the man. At times Marian would look at him with equal respect and he knew that she had not entirely lost all care for him. But he did not want her respect alone. He lay awake in his own empty chambers hoping against hope that Marian would come to him; that she would tell him she loved him.

Then it happened one night. The tiniest creak of the door, but Guy had been awake and had heard the noise.

"Who's there?" he barked.

"Guy?"

It was Marian. God, was he dreaming? She came walking in, holding a candle in one hand, letting the small pale light cast flickering shadows over the dark room. "Marian, what are you doing here?" he asked her.

"I could not sleep," she said. So she was troubled with equal heartache? Had she finally reconciled her own emotions? Guy tried to quell his mounting hopes and desires, but it was impossible. She was standing before him clad only in her thin nightshift, and Lord help him, but he wanted her! He wanted to finally consummate their marriage and love her as a husband should love his wife.

"So why come to me?" Guy asked, she would have to say it. He wanted to hear it from her lips before he jumped to anymore blissful conclusions.

"I...I wanted to...you have..." she shook her head, clearing it of her hesitations and nerves, "You have been so patient with me, shown me nothing but kindness. Guy, I...I want to be with you...as a wife. I want to try...if you will have me."

If he would have her?! He was trembling with desire. He took her hands in his, "Marian are you sure?" he asked, "I will not force you."

"No, and you never have," Marian sat beside him on the bed. "This is my choice."

And she was choosing him. He had never felt such joy before in all his life. He took her head in his hands and kissed her, gently at first so as not to startle her. She never let him touch her and now she was giving him permission to love her.

He made love to her as tenderly as possible, it was surprisingly easy to exhibit self control. He wanted this moment to last for as long as possible. Marian was with him, in his bed, wanting him. It was perfection. He became encouraged by the little sighs and whimpers of pleasure she made. When at last they had fully consummated their marriage, Guy took Marian in his arms. He felt himself become unraveled as he never had felt before. The iron wall around his heart had been completely decimated. He was exposed, but he felt safe with her, wanting to share in this rawness of emotion.

"I love you," he said to her. He had wanted to say so much more, but he could not find the proper words to express himself. Even the simple phrase of love was not enough to encompass all of which he felt for her. It was more than love. "Marian..." he breathed her name like a soft caress, "I love you..."

He wanted her to say the same to him. No, he needed her to say that she loved him. Instead she had burst into tears, wrenching away from him. At first Guy had thought he had hurt her in some way. Marian had shook her head, removing herself from his bed and grabbing her forgotten nightshift. She shuddered as she crossed her hands over her chest, ashamed he should see her and shivering as if he had just violated her in the worst way. "I'm sorry!" She kept repeating over and over again until Guy grew mad with the sincerity of the apology.

"Marian!" He shouted, grabbing her arm to prevent her from leaving the room entirely. He meant to give her some stern command, force her to obey him and not desert him, but all which came forth was a hurt and angered cry, "Do not leave me."

"I am sorry, I should not have done this...it was a mistake...a mistake, oh let me go, Guy, please let me go!"

And he did let her go, because she did not love him and his touch had revolted her and his declaration of love had done nothing but remind her of the love she had lost. His moment of absolute completion and perfection had been her violation and mistake. He let her go, running and sobbing from the room as if he had just abused her, and her cries of pain were knives in his heart.

She never shared his bed again after that.

---

Guy took Marian's hand in his, looking down at the silver wedding band she wore upon her finger. He traced over it with his fingers contemplatively before sliding the ring off of her.

"Guy?" Marian asked, why on earth would he remove her wedding ring? It was the symbol of their marriage, it represented all that he had ever wanted in life. "Guy, what are you doing?"

He turned the ring over in the palm of his hand. "This...this does not belong to you."

"What? Guy, I am your wife, of course it belongs to me!"

"No, you are my prisoner, not my wife!" Guy shouted, his fist closing about the silver band. "This is not you. You are no longer Marian, you are a shell, a ghost. I killed you that day in the Holy Land when we married. I thought that in time you would grow to...love me...I thought that—but you have only grown to despise me."

"No, Guy--"

"I was selfish, Marian," Guy's momentary anger gave way to honest and resigned sorrow. "I thought I could keep you here with me and that would be enough. It is not. Marian," he raised his arms as if to draw her into an embrace, but he remembered how she hated his touch and he let them fall back to his sides, his arms grew numb with the pain of not being able to hold her, "Marian, I love you," he said hopelessly, "and I would see you happy and alive once more. So..." he must finish this, he must will himself to say the words, "I release you."

Marian stared at him, disbelief in her eyes as she heard him speak. "You release me? But our marriage..."

"Can be annulled," Guy assured her, "I can say it was never properly witnessed...I am certain Robin will be able to aid you in that matter."

She could not stand the bitterness in his voice. Guy stepped away from her, her pity was sickening. "A carriage is already ready for you. You can leave for Locksley today, I'm sure you are anxious to see your former betrothed again."

"You will really let me go?" Marian whispered.

"Marian, I once told you a long time ago I would never force you. Your freedom is my gift to you. I only ever wanted to see you happy."

Marian tried to reach for him to embrace him in shaky thanks. Guy moved away from her, "Go!" He shouted at her, "For God's sake, Marian, do not linger here any longer."

At a signal from Guy, a carriage was driven round to the front of the courtyard. Marian watched numbly, unable to even feel shock, it was all so sudden. She turned to Guy, he was a broken man; heart, soul, and body in a shambles as he saw the life spark back into Marian's eyes at the idea of freedom slowly becoming a reality.

"Thank you, Guy," Marian said, eyes swimming with tears, "I always knew you to be a good man."

Guy winced at her thanks. "A good man or a man of the most vile wickedness; means nothing to me. I never tried to be anything more than the man you could love. I loved you for nothing more than the fact that you were Marian. A pity you could not have loved me for the man I was: good or evil. Good bye, Marian."

His words shocked her to her core. He left her standing in the snow of the courtyard, unable to watch her as she left the castle. She knew he would be grieving for her as keenly as if she had died and left him the world alone. This pulled at her heart and made her feel uneasy. She made her way to the carriage, opened the door and settled herself inside. The driver flicked his whip at the horses and the carriage rumbled through the open gates of the castle and out towards Locksley...

---

She had locked her heart away inside of herself after she had married Guy. She was kept in the castle and she hardly ever wandered out beyond Nottingham. Guy never had her followed, and it would have been within his right to always keep her under guard to make sure she did not go off to see Robin.

Oh, Robin. She ached for him, it was agony to know that she was married to another man while her love was living not but a few minute's ride away. He was so close. Robin was the safe and the familiar; the man she had loved since she had been a child. She nursed a hatred towards Guy for stealing that love away from her, but it was a hatred which dulled quickly as she found that her new husband warranted none of her spite. He was tender and kind with her, understanding that she did not love him. He endeavored constantly to deserve her, which only furthered her frustration. He helped the poor, lowered taxes and made sure that the punishments of those who had committed crimes were fair. When the people began to respect him Marian felt as if the last vestige of hope had been snatched from her. The only way to escape him would have been if he had abused his power as Sheriff. Robin would have gladly found an excuse to throw him in the dungeons, but Guy never gave him a suitable excuse. Marian was effectively trapped.

But then there were moments when she doubted her love for her former betrothed. When she had taken to locking herself away in her room for days on end in her miserable state, Guy would often leave flowers at her door for her when she would once again open it. Not just flowers; leaves, trinkets, anything from the outside world which he thought might turn her gray world brighter again. Marian quietly cherished those little gifts and kept them atop the small nightstand next to her bed.

Guy was such a changed man since their return from the Holy Land. He could have been impatient with her, or violent, forcing himself upon her and claim what was rightfully his. He had done none of those things. He had been patient and gentle and of all things understanding. But every man has a breaking point.

The Council of Nobles was held like it was every month. It meant something far more than an account of how the villages were fairing in the shire to Marian. It meant Robin of Locksley would come to the castle. Marian only had to wait beyond the doors leading into the Great Hall. After the council finished, she lingered in a dark corridor gesturing for Robin to follow her which he did willingly.

She had fallen into his arms and he had held her and kissed her and comforted her in her moment of weakness and pain. Robin renewed his vow to one day free her from Gisborne, but Marian did not care. She was with Robin now and that was all that truly mattered.

He could not stay long and he was soon away again and Marian felt the loneliness of her position ten times over. As she turned the corner to scurry away back to her chamber she noticed Guy leaning lazily against one of the pillars in a small alcove. Marian did not even have to ask him if he had seen or heard anything. The agony in his eyes was evidence enough. She did not know if she should even apologize. She was not sorry for being with the one she loved, even for a moment, but her heart ached naggingly at the sight of this strong and proud man so disheveled and lost.

"Guy, I--"

He raised his hand, not wanting to hear her useless excuses. "Spare me your apologies, Marian, they will do you no good."

"You...you intend to punish me?" The tone of his voice had worried her, she took it as a threat.

This was the wrong thing to say, Guy slammed his hand against the pillar a roar of rage filling the air, "Damn it Marian, how many times must I tell you I would never hurt you?! Do you still think me so monstrous that I would go so far as to abuse my own wife?"

"I ask you for nothing! I do not force you into my bed; I keep to my own chambers, I leave you be, I do not touch you, I let you go where you will, all that I have wanted in return was your respect at the very least! I have kept and honored my vows to you, I expected you to do the same."

"I have not betrayed you," Marian said, "and I would never do such a thing. Robin was here...I wanted to see him. I _needed_ him."

"_Robin is not your husband_!" Guy shouted furiously, "I am! He has no right to put his hands on you or promise you a life with him. You are mine! You should have need of _me_ not Robin!"

She had given him a cold excuse that she would never need him, because the pounding in her heart had become acutely confusing. She had wanted to put her arms around him and soothe his anger. But those thoughts were so very wrong for her to be thinking. She had buried them. She would never think on them again. Except she did, doubts and affections tormented her night and day until she fell sick with fever.

She had been told she had been in bed for nearly three days before the fever finally broke. When she woke she saw Guy asleep in a chair beside her bed. He had looked so weary even in sleep. She had asked the physician if he had been there all night. The physician informed her Guy had, in fact, been there since she had first fallen ill three days ago.

Marian was struck. What? Three days and hardly any food or rest? Oh, they had tried to convince him to look after himself, but Guy had ignored all advice. So he had stayed with her, wanting to be the first person she saw when she awoke. It was impossible not to be touched by her husband's devotion.

Once able to stand, Marian pulled one of the blankets off of the bed and went over to Guy, placing the warm blanket around him and tucking it against the sides of the chair. He did not wake and so he never heard her whisper her heartfelt thanks to him, or feel her lips brush against his own in a light kiss.

Her feelings grew more acute with each passing day, and her anxiety persisted as she fought with her morals. Guy was not the same man as he had been, but he was not Robin and she was in love with Robin, yes Robin! Not Guy....

---

Marian held her head in her hands. She should be overjoyed to be returning to the arms of her beloved Robin instead she felt sick with the distance she was putting between herself and Guy. He had let her go so easily wanting only to see her happy, that was a form of love she had always tried so hard to understand.

He would find another, yes it was entirely conceivable to believe that Guy would find another woman to love with the same amount of passion and adoration. That woman would be a very lucky one indeed, she would certainly never know a life of neglect or unhappiness. Marian shook her head furiously. Oh, the idea was intolerable! A flash of hot anger surged through her blood. The idea of another woman in Guy's arms was repulsive. What could another do to be so deserving of him? Such a woman would never know the man as well as she. Only she knew what it took to make Guy smile, or guess what it was he was truly thinking or feeling. Marian scared herself at the amount of jealousy and hatred she was heaping upon this poor imaginary woman. If she could not even tolerate the thought of Guy loving another, she would never be able to live through a reality of it.

_For I love him!_

The thought rang clearly in her mind. Yes...yes, oh she did love him and she had been in denial for far too long. Too scared to face the truth of her own heart, she had hidden away and drove herself sick with her constant inability to admit this simple fact.

Marian beat upon the carriage wall, "Stop!" She cried, scrambling to open the carriage door and shout at the rider, who was even now slowing the horses down to a halt. "Stop the carriage!"

"What's wrong, my lady?" The driver asked.

"Turn around," Marian announced, cheeks flushing.

"My lady, I was given instructions to take you to Locksley."

"Well, I'm giving you different orders," Marian said, "We are going back to Nottingham, now turn this carriage around immediately!"

The man had no choice, but to concede to his lady's wishes. Marian sat back in the carriage, shutting the door once again. Her heart was pounding furiously as she sincerely hoped she was making the right decision. Her mind went back to Guy. He would be alone in the castle, believing her rejoicing over her reunion with Robin. She squirmed in her seat, could this clunking contraption move any faster?!

---

Guy was in his chambers, reading over the list of petitions from several of the nobles. He had to focus his mind on the work before him, for if he stopped, even for a moment; images of Marian and Robin together would come and haunt him and he was not yet ready to face the loneliness of his current situation.

He could not sink into a depth of self-pity. The woman he loved would be forever happy, should that not be enough for him? It was easy to say that it would be, but he was never a selfless man. His love had always been selfish, and as much as he had wanted Marian to be happy, he had truly wanted her to be happy with him. Now she was gone, and while she she would never be far away, she would be as distant as the moon was from the earth.

"Guy!"

The shout rang out, echoing from somewhere outside. Guy gave a start, turning to look at the door. That had been Marian's voice. The shout came again and this time Guy merely lowered the parchment in his hand and rubbed at his temples. He was going mad, but what delightful madness it was if it meant that he could hear Marian's voice again.

"Guy?!" The door was pulled violently opened revealing a flushed and grinning Marian.

Ah, and he could envision her to; madness suited him well. He had always known that woman would be the source of his undoing. She ran over to him, a little giggle escaping her. It had been so long since he had last heard her laugh. She threw her arms about him, nearly knocking him out of his chair.

"I could not go!" Marian explained hastily, "I could not. Please, Guy, oh please say you will forgive me for I have realized something now and it is unfortunate I did not have the courage to tell you before."

Hesitantly Guy placed an arm about her. She was no vision, she was real and tangible. His grip tightened about her. Oh God, what was she doing here? Had she come to further torment him? Why could she not just go? "What have you realized?" he croaked out. He would not raise his hopes again. He could not...

"I love you."

The whole of the world was condensed in those brief words. He could not still the tremble in his body as he tried to cling to her tighter. Marian found herself pulled down onto his lap. She caressed his face with light kisses. "Did you not hear me, Guy? I said I loved you."

Suddenly his hold about her went slack and he pulled away to face her. "You do not love me," he said harshly, "There is a fine line between love and pity, Marian, and I have no need of your pity. I gave you leave to go, be assured there is no bitterness between us. You are under no obligation to lie."

"Do you think I would say such words lightly?" Marian accused as Guy shoved her from him and moved away from her. "Guy, I could not even admit these feelings to myself."

"Then what prompted the sudden change?" Guy snarled. She did more damage to him then she knew, coming back when he had been at peace with his decision to let her go. Why did she always insist upon tormenting him?

"The thought of losing you. Guy, you sent me away," there was a small wail in her voice; a note of desperation Guy had never heard before. "I thought it was a release at first, but there was no joy. I didn't want to go to Locksley, I wanted to stay here with you."

"But...Robin..."

"Is in the past, and I fear he has been for quite some time, but I was too afraid to let go. I am sorry for that," Marian approached him, sensing that his anger was slowly giving way to disbelief. "I know I have hurt you more times than should be forgiven. I did not come back with any expectation that you would want me again, but please, Guy if nothing else I need you to believe me. I love you, and if you send me away again I will still love you."

Guy could not even look at her. Marian exhaled, feeling a sting of tears in her eyes. She nodded, understanding his silence. "I will go then..."

"Wait," Guy stopped her as she placed her hand upon the door handle. "It's cold out there...it will have started snowing heavily by now. You should stay."

Marian turned to exclaim that she knew very well she 'should' stay, but it was all a matter of if he wanted her to stay. The breath was knocked from her lungs when she saw Guy pull out her wedding ring from the pocket of his coat. He knelt down on one knee. "Marry me, Marian," he said, "not because of any ultimatum, or scheme. Marry me properly, here in Nottingham, only if you mean what you have said, only if---"

Marian threw her arms about Guy for the second time that day. "Yes," the words were out of her mouth before she could think to hesitate, "Yes, Guy, I will marry you." This time they were words spoken in joy, not out of duress or obligation, but pure, loving joy.

Guy barely placed the ring once more on Marian's finger before she caught his lips in an enthusiastic kiss. Guy held her against him for as long as possible, kissing her with all the fervor he could summon. He still hesitated upon trusting his senses. Was Marian truly here with him? But then he felt her lips move against his and the muffled sounds of her laughter and he knew she was, indeed, with him. His shock was further continued at the words Marian spoke to him: words of regret, and love poured out from her. Like a dam slowly cracking away, the words came on quietly at first before she seemed unable to stop herself. It was love—no it was more, it was so much more, but she just couldn't find the proper way to say it. Guy knew the familiar ache of the unidentifiable emotion; how long he had wanted Marian to come to understand it herself!

He did not know he had been crying throughout her confession until Marian pressed her lips to the tears tracking down his face. "Forgive me," she said. "I have treated you terribly...I've said and done things that were cruel and unfeeling. I understand if they can not warrant forgiveness."

Yes she had, it was true. Lord knew how many months she had constantly held him at bay while she struggled to define what was truly present in her heart. She should have let him help her instead of making him believe he meant less that nothing. He had every right to withhold his forgiveness, but that would be spiteful. She had come to the decision on her own and she had returned to him, there would be no point in prolonging his anger any further.

"I will forgive you," he said, "in time...it will all be forgotten."

This was all Marian could have hoped for. Guy sighed as he held his wife in his arms, "I suppose this means I will have to get you a proper gift now..."

Marian laughed, the sound rich and happy. When was the last time he had heard her joy filled laugh? Far too long. He smiled at the sight of her eyes once again bright with life. That look of love that he had often seen in her eyes, but had never received, was at last gazing up at him.

"I don't think there is anything more you could possibly give me, Guy. Besides, I want nothing more than to spend the rest of this Christmas with you."

He was catching her in the midst of her fall, just as all the wilds of love were rushing about inside her like a flurry of snow. Outside the wind howled, crashing against the window with indignant fury. A winter storm was quickly building.

"I think, perhaps, we will be forced to stay indoors for a time," Marian said.

"Now this is all starting to sound very familiar," Guy said.

Marian smiled, a blush rising in her pale cheeks. "Yes, only this time I will not ride away once the storm has passed."

Guy laughed as he kissed her, just beginning to realize that she was finally his. "I love you, Marian," he whispered.

"I love you too," Marian said barely able to contain the whole of her love now that it had finally been confessed. "Guy?" she found herself giggling, "Merry Christmas."

* * *

**A/N: Nice enough holiday story? I've never attempted to write Marian/Guy fics so I'm interested in how you all receive it. Anyway, hope everyone has a great holiday season! **


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